I limp along in my stupid broken life.

This stupid broken place I created before I was old enough

To even know what the hell I was doing.

I try to repair the things that I’ve broke.

I tear them down and start from scratch

But still the cracks show.

The rips return time after time.

I tape them up and pray they’ll stick this time.

I’m real.

I’m for sure.

I pay for my mistakes every day.

The dues are astronomical.

I’m not a real grandma.

I’m not a real wife.

I’ve never even been a real fiancé’

I’m just this person who’s broke everything she’s ever dreamed of.

Who is sad about her broken things

Who doesn’t know how it got so messed up

Who’s wondering why.

And how.

Tired of halves and shareds and could’ve would’ve and should’ves

And how do I start anew?

I don’t even know.

~Sara Jane~

5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Randy Rauch
    Jul 23, 2012 @ 19:09:58

    This was a dark hurtful time in your life, Soon you will experience being a real Grandma. I love how you turn your hurt and happiness into Beautiful poems. You are so blessed with talent.


  2. allison niemerg
    Jul 24, 2012 @ 00:36:41

    Sometimes you have to break the walls around you in order to rebuild them as your own, in your own way.


  3. Andrew Rauch
    Jul 29, 2012 @ 08:58:12

    And always remember that Everyone is giving a cross to carry. Some are heavier because they can handle it… And you my dear sis are a very strong Women!!! “Keep your chin up” as mom would always say and “the smile will always follow!”


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